The last goodbye…becoming just a memory.

Awake, brace the day. A never ending repeating cycle. Inhale, exhale with each breath I grew tired, weaker, with little to no desire to continue breathing, waking.

Facing the day has become a heavy task, I fight demons in my head, invisible demons that promise to ease the pain, end my misery. Life, I find no purpose; so many are dying to live, clinging to their last breath and yet here I stand questioning my own existence.

Longing to become just a memory, I fight this never ending battle trying to remain afloat, life has been so harsh, I simply cannot comprehend why nor have grown to see the purpose behind each tear, each suffering. Questions fill my mind.

I want to…yet I hesitate, not for me, but for you. Because you see, although I long to become just a memory, I don’t want to be simply a memory to you. See I know what Mother’s memories signifies the o their children; excruciating pain, confusion, solitude, empty questions and a constant battle within.

So, I remain yet another day for you my darling child, another day where I can hopefully make a change in your impressionable life, another day where I can bring you joy, love, and create memories, another day where I am more than just a memory to you for I cannot brace myself to yet say a last goodbye.