Is this all there is to her story?…

Childhood filled with wonders she had which came crumbling down with the death of her mother. The word she once saw through eyes of wonders filled with magic, became dark, cold, filled with pain, abuse, suffering, despair and solitude.

She fought through an beat the odds, acquired an education filled with hopes for a bright future she felt laid ahead. But her hopes soon came winding down; divorce, domestic violence, raising a child alone, instabilities and an education which brought upon debt rather than the success she had imagined for herself.

She now lays filled with defeat, silenced pain pretending to be ok, but she is emotionally, spiritually broken fighting against a never ceasing wave, drowning.

Is this it? She asks herself, the part of her that still wants to hang on to Hope questions. Is this all there is to life? Is this all to her story? She awaits for change, yet life has beaten her down stealing away her strength, her hopes, dreams and faith.


Shooting blanks…

Have you ever been so numb that you start to shoot blanks? mind empty out of touch with reality, feelings, emotions, life? I lay restless and confused like a ship that’s been steered in the wrong direction by the wind, like a sailor without a compass I feel I navigate though this sea called life lost and yet to be found.

Shooting blanks I make my way through every wave rocking motionless unable to make sense to the waves of emotions rising up inside of me waiting to erupt, I rock motionless through a dark sea of emotions being swept no where staring at the dark sky shooting blanks unable to move, swim, paralyzed by the waves I lay motionless.

Although I may feel the waves caress my skin, the wind wisher sweet nothings, I lay motionless staring at the dark sky unable to comprehend, to grasp reality and awake, instead my mind is far gone, my spirit lost, my soul empty. I seek salvation form this endless abyss, yet all I find is more confusion; will it ever end?