Broken record

Sitting on my bathroom floor, the only place I find solace, the only place I can be alone (Mother’s can understand) with a glass of wine as my only companion.

I feel drained, weakened from crying all week and exhausted from sleepless nights; it’s as if I have drained my body from every tear it has left. Recounting the past, paralyzed by the present. I feel dizzy, drowning, overpowered with fear.

This pain I feel in every fiber of my being, this exhaustion, this lack of strength, hope, faith and desire to live, is becoming to feel like a broken record, one that skips playing the same sound over and over again.

I am tired of being always stuck in this place, in this never ending abyss…black hole. I so want to escape, yet it’s long arms seem to always reach catching me with a strong hold pulling me back, holding me down with enormous pressure, one that takes my strength away and despite fighting against it to break free, instead leads me to surrender.

Will this broken record heal, mend it’s broken pieces? Will the dark feelings subside? Will it play a different sound? One although skips due to the scratches yet I can finally hear the sound of it’s music rather than confusing noise? Will I be able to dance to its sound rather than succumb?